MIA

Yes, I have been MIA.  Missing in action.  Life has thrown me 1,542 curveballs.  Some of them I have taken head on, some of them, I have attempted to dodge, but got smacked with anyway.  My last post, I was 10 weeks pregnant, with our third.  Our sassy surprise, Lydia.  Now, she's hitting 10 months old.  Yikes!  That's a little scary in print, isn't it?

This blog will have a new meaning for me.  It started as a way to keep myself sane while on bed rest, gosh, that was 3 years ago!!  In fact, almost to the day, I think I wrote my first blog post.  Then, it was a lame attempt on my end to mark my childrens' milestones.  But their milestones kept me so busy, I forgot to mark them! *Sigh.*  Now, it will be therapy.  Read it or not, this is mostly for me.  I need an outlet, and I love to write, so here goes.

Liam and Lena are almost three.  It kind kind of takes my breath away to read that in print.  Lydia is almost one.  That feels like a smack in the face!  It's true when they say, "don't blink."  I have become a mother of three, and overall, I feel like I'm pretty good at it.  I am successful (95% of the time) at leaving the house solo, with the three of them.  I can get them into a public place, alone, and alive.  They are fed, bathed, rested, and healthy.  Usually that means, I am not, but they are, and that is what matters to me.  They probably watch too much television, eat too many french fries, but, they are happy.  I probably drink too much coffee, don't get enough rest, and need to lose 70 lbs, but I am happy... and tired, but happy.  My husband and I can laugh, usually, at the end of the day, and that's what counts!  Without him, I don't know where I'd be on this roller coaster!  I might have fallen off in one of the upside down loops, way back when.

To my babies...

Lena, I adore you.  You're a funny, compassionate, wonderfully helpful, smart, great listener, wise beyond your years two and a half year old.  And at the same time, you are a sassy, emotional, dramatic almost "threenager."  You adore Liam.  You are obsessed with Lydia.  You love to read and draw.  Sometimes you call your Daddy by his first name.  Every morning when you wake, you find your sister to kiss her forehead.  Your cousins are your best friends, and you love your Aunties.  You use the "potty" as an excuse to get out of things that challenge you, and you use catch phrases like "Not I!" Your intelligence amazes me, every day.  You're 40 inches tall, almost 39 lbs, clumsy like your momma, wild haired, an amazing little girl.

Liam, oh my Liam.  Autism DOES NOT define you.  I will never, ever, never let it.  I can't wait to hear you call me mom.  You might not have words now, but you have learned to tell me what you want by showing me.  I know you love car rides, because you won't let me leave without you.  You will shove your coat or shoes in my face to show me!  Your laugh and smile makes your eyes sparkle, and melts my heart every time.  You are strong, and agile.  I cannot, and probably will not ever be as fast as you.  You are one of the pickiest eaters I've ever seen, but you love a good piece of pizza!  Cooler Ranch Doritos are a close second! Sometimes you prefer Mickey Mouse's entrance over my hugs, but I can accept that.  You are changing leaps and bounds every day, and I know it, I just know it, that you will, and do amaze EVERY ONE.  So many people love you, and pray for you.  So many people are keeping track of your never ending progress.  Your Daddy and I, will always be your number one fans.  And without a doubt, your sisters will always protect you.  Every day is a new day for new opportunities!

Lydia, momma's girl.  You cry when I leave the room.  You army crawl across it when I am in view to climb my legs.  I have enjoyed the opportunity to nurse you, because that is time for just you and I.  You explore everything, by touching it, knocking it down, or putting it in your mouth.  And yes, that unfortunately includes dog food!  "Mama" frequently leaves your lips, especially when you are tired, or crying.  Your giggle rocks!  You light up at your brother and sister, and I know the three of you are going to be trouble!!  Your little rolls are too cute not to blow raspberries on!  You were a surprise, but are constantly a joy.

To my husband..

I don't know where I'd be without you.  I think that is as simply as I can put it.  I probably drive you crazy most days.  By the time you get up, I'm spent.  But know this, that I always love you.  I always need you.   We have three amazing kids :)  We are so blessed!

To Myself..

Days may be long.  Days may be overshadowed by feeding kids, cleaning that food off the floor, changing diapers, making sure Super Why is on, making sure the kids are actively using their brains,  but you are doing a good job.  You matter.  You are important.   I got a "Message from God" today, it's an app on Facebook.  It said that "God is glad that you are you."  I'm glad that I am me too, most days.  I just need to keep telling myself that!  God entrusted these children to me, and only me, for a reason.  :)

To you.. 

If you're still reading, your support is appreciated, and cherished.  Your encouragement is never unnoticed.

Good Night for Now...